S.O.S Brown beats Rhianna Black and Blue

For the past two days there has been Internet buzz regarding the alleged assault on R&B superstar "Rhianna" by her R&B superstar boyfriend "Chris Brown" The most recent revelation to this story has come in the past 24 hours with police claiming that once on the scene of said crime it became abundantly clear that Rhianna had had about...seven, maybe 8 shades of shit kicked out of her by the 19 year old mini Michael that's ruling our airwaves with such bangers as "EEEEEEYYYYY YEEEEEEAAAAAH SOMETHING bOuT AIR!!!!!!!!!(air, air)"

Mr Brown apparently turned himslef in after a neighbour called the police after she heard a young woman's screams coming from the pairs home and probably complained about noise pollution in the fear that Mr Brown was recording another album. Police on the scene of the crime have reportedly taken pictures of Rhianna in her state of fucked upness as proof, one of the officers said that the photos alone are "Devistating proof of abuse" and that the beating had been so severe that Rhianna had been left with two "huge" contusions on her head that looked like "Devil Horns", she is also reported to have bite marks on her arms and fingers (Someone fights like a bit of a little faggot) Of course Chris has posted the $50,000 bail so hes back on them streets looking for R&B singers to catfight with.

The young "artist" has also hired himself a lawyer, the best Lawyer money can buy (No not Johnny R.I.P). Chris has remained in keeping with his career as a Michael Jackson tribute act by hiring the lawyer that got old M.J off those pesky peado raps, aswell as gettin old clepto Winona off the teal-leafing charges (So you know he' good)

Of course untill these phantom pictures of Rhianna all fucked up surface this is all just chinese whispers in the wind between a deaf guy and a guy doing a REALLY racist chinese impression.

But rest assured if and when those pictures come out ill let you know, even tho you'll most definently know about them before hand because as far as Music related gossip goes this is up there with Lil Wayne kissing a guy who claims to be his daddy and bobby and whitney living in squalor and Crack addiction despite them being "Too rich for crack" "Crack is wak!".

Well for now keep your ears to the street your eyes on the stars and your fingers constantly checking http://www.youcantunwatchit.blogspot.com/ (That was some shameless self promotion i don't feel good aout that) check out my myspace www.myspace.com/beatsbenofficial (now that one felt better, havent myspaced in yonks..........ENJOY!!!!!!

(Dude your breathe is HOOOOOOOOOOT!!!)

Chris Brown's Breathe stinks!

Following the alleged assult by Chris Brown on girlfriend Rhianna Wrigleys chewing gum have terminated their contract with Mr Brown as they feel a wife beater should't be the face of fresh breathe. Somebody tell Jordin sparks that Mr browns gonna be releasing some hot doo doo air from now on so she definently won't be able to breathe.