DUDE! eat a salad!

As a lifetime vegetarian and lifetime asshole i thrive on tellin' carnivores how fuckin immoral they are (Shit's fun) i have come up against all manner of meat eater in my line of conflict, the fast food only i.e "if it aint a pattie it wont get eaten": The retarded i.e "I'll eat chicken, but not chicken heart, no beef, but duck etc etc and of course the connoisseur i.e "I'll eat any thing movin" i must say the latter is the only manner of carnivore i can even vaguely respect, if you eat animal you eat all animal, no racism, no ignorance nice. However pointless and time wasting it is to attempt to persuade a meat eater to put down the carcus and pick up a celery it is still a hobby of mine that i divulge in at every opportunity, its like questioning somebodies faith, only they can't get TOO upset about it cos its just sustenance as opposed to salvation and as much as you may enjoy chomping on some sweaty bloody muscle you know you could just as easily slice an apple or suck a carrot (these no-homo jokes doin anything for ya'?) But it has come to my attention recently that the ever increasing mass of meat consumed by man is becoming something of a global issue that apparently effects not only you being a fat fuck who's breathe kicks of death but also it effects "The Earth"

Now let me clear this up, i am a vegetarian (Go on laugh it up, just dont have a heart attack) i am no mans hippie, no mans tree hugger, shit i'll eat you if left with no choice without a second thought but whilst conducting my daily intake of world news from around....well....the world i stumbled upon a news story on the Guardian website sighting that fat fucks are killin us all, now understand when i say fat i don't mean weight, or size i mean Fat Filthy Mcdonalds obsessed bastards who's 5-a-day is the chips on the side, or a strawberry milkshake instead of chocolate or perhaps an apple pie, im talking abouth the shmuck who leaves their vegetables on the plate and get their dinner from whatever takeout place is named after an American state E.G Kentucky, Tennessee or Dallas. Those are the type of bitches we hate (Snakes/Masta Ace Ft Rah Digga) Like i say im not judging meat eaters, its up to you what you put inside your body, but in this health crazy world that we live in i find it incredible that" the UK consumes 19% more food than it did 40 years ago, which equates to an extra 60 mega tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions a year. It also included the extra transport-related emissions caused by the increased obesity." Greenhouse gases my fuckin ass, you can disregard that if you like but the point is still there 19%!!!! and although i disregarded the greenhouse gas remark 60 megatons is the kind of weight that shits me up, doesnt even sound like a measurement, sounds like a transformer, a Decepticon !(The bad ones for you too young or too ignorant)

As a youngster i was taught that the health of a person could be directly discovered by calculating the BMI (Body Mass Index) of said person, this is your weight divided by your height times Pie or some shit i don't know i didnt pay attention, all i remember was what the numbers meant:

BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5 weight =" 18.5-24.9" overweight =" 25-29.9" obesity =" BMI">

Now im sure BMI is just another load of bullshit that they brainwashed us with like Heaven or the O-zone layer but none the less i did some research and discovered the average BMI of us, thats right US! I discovered that the average male BMI in England between 1994 and 2004 rose from 26 to 27.3. For women it rose from 25.8 to 26.9 which equates to an extra half a stone (about 3kg). That's some rise in just one decade, let alone four. Furthermore, it is estimated that 40% of Britons will be classified as obese by 2010, thats next year SHIT! Although this study was taken out to see the significant impact of our increased weight and/or consumption of more meat resulting in more slaughter than ever before on the Planet Earth DUDE! it has become more than that it has become a show of how weak and fat and stupid we as a people are becoming. We are queen ants ( bare with me im going somewhere) we sit on our fucking asses waiting for others to feed us, to sustain us, we do not hunt, we can not hunt, with no gun we're defenseless as a people and this is our own doing, drop Rick Waller in the jungle what could he kill, he couldnt climb for a bird or squirrel, he couldnt run for a bore or lamb (there are no lambs or squirrels in the Jungle) he would be screwed, i would eat plants if necessary but if not i, i with my vegetable power would catch that bore and climb for that bird with no problem, then i'd eat it, real quick like see! no probs! but thats just 'cos im better than Rick Waller, or you, yeah im better than you no doubt.

In summary "PUT THE FUCKING PATTIE DOWN AND N'YAM A CARROT OR SOME FUCKING DUST!"