Madonna's STEALIN' BABIES!!!

OH! you never knew?! yeah Madonna seems to think that any African child is hers for the taking, like she's watching Oxfam adverts like they're video catalogues "I'll have that one, the one with the belly" her words not mine. Madonna is in the midst of jacking her second African Child. Chifundo James is four! years of age, her birth mother died at 18 years of age (Fucked up) so Madonna thinks the best thing to do to ensure this child isn't left in a similar position to that of her MOTHER! is to steal the child and raise her as her own, im sure thats just what her poverty stricken nowdead at 18 years mother would have dreamt on the day of her birth "if only an ugly evil lookin' white devil would come and steal my child from me so her record sells would go up and nobody could mention that she looks like skeletor in a leotard" True stores. I am not sure whether or not you have picked up on my slight dislike of the "Queen of pop" honestly she's like the Heather Grantham of pop, she'll sleep with ya, but only for sales, she'll olso divorce ya (for the sales) aswell as get "Lesbian" with you (EWWWWWW!) for them god darn sales. Rodman!? Rodman?! and hold on, HOLD ON! surely theres some sort of legal president that would stop a crazy fucking bitch from adopting a dead womans child whilst not even half way through her multi million dollar Divorce proceedings that could have serous reprocussions on the child, "So my mum's madonna, whos my dad!? that "Cockney guy?" FUCKING MADONNA, FUCK OFF!!! the only female pop star who can make me wrech and has done so many times. "hey Mr D.J put comic relif on i WANNA STEAL ME A BABY!!!!!" my own little remix, anyway i hope you enjoyed my Screw Madonna rant. I did.

"May the lord be with you"-"Not with you"

I must first and foremost accredit this post to http://www.gorillamask.net/ whom have posted "Best Middle Eastern Television" Amongst these are a number of clips from a channel "Mamrid T.V" and a "Hamas Bunny"

Much has been commented on the content of the trailer for the new "Haunting in Connecticut" horror movie, i personally am made of sterner stuff and fast flashing cuts of blood and a random female scream thrown together with the words "Based on true Events" don't worry me in the slightest, i know "Based on true events" just means Word on the grape vine is THIS SHIT HAPPENED! however HOWEVER there are certain less graphic clips out there in the digital world that will shit you right up (I know they did me). After hitting the jump on http://www.goriilamask.net/ i did a bit of youtubing and....shit and i left a cooked biscuit in my LRJeans.

The most viewed of the Hamas Bunny's rants is that of the consequence of the Danish Illustration of the "Prophet Mohammed" we all know the controversy this caused in the Muslim community that echoed throughout the world and left us all a lil extra nervous of those Extremist devout Muslims who just don't take that kinda shit lying down, but i think an even more chilling result of this was the response of the Hamas Bunny. Please view Below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYjQXSF6mtc&feature=player_embedded

For some reason i can't Embed cos my Laptop is a fucking disgrace! So even tho it kinda ruins my whole rant thing i think you get what i mean (If you hit the Jump, to be fair i rarely do, but you should!) i could take the lazy blog way out and tell you to look at the related videos and do your own damn research.......so i will, i'm really a public service, i point you in the right direction and like to think that you can find your way. "I help those whom help themselves" IM LIKE JESUS! in that i am also very forgiving, (Unlike some, no names mentioned) You should also check out the rant on Jerry from Tom & Jerry being a HUGE Jewish conspiracy that had a lot to do with the downfall of Hitler. AHHH sounds interesting right? gonna look it up are ya?! gonna do a lil research?! good for you, GOOD FOR YOU!!!

BOOYAH!!!!

20's the new 30, im getting old STILL!

I hit my double decade in a matter of weeks and during the last two months or so its dawned on me that i am what i swore i'd never be. At the moment im sitting at my desk with a glass of Welch's Purple grape ( For the Antioxidant power ) and a half eaten Milky Way bar wrapped up in its own packet, LIKE IM SAVING IT FOR LATER....IM NOT! IM NOT SAVING IT FOR LATER! WHEN AM I SAVING IT FOR!? WILL I EVER EAT IT !? OH FUCKING GREAT I JUST THREW IT AWAY!!! WHAT AM I DIETING?!

With my Wilky Way gone the same way as Hip-Hop and Woolworths, i'm replacing my morning tea with a "Cappuccino" or "Mocha" and sometimes, SOMETIMES Just a "Coffee" before i head to work at my office to chase down these invoices and get the money so our projections are in a stable position for the next issue. Nope not selling trainers anymore, not serving Da'beers, im cross referencing spreadsheets and making phone calls, I don;t go to the chip shop for lunch every day, i may have a lght sandwich, maybe some sort of pasta salad PASTA SALAD!

I hate Lil' Wayne, Despise Chris Brown, wanna kill J.T, wont give my buisness to B.P, im pissed with B.T, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BBC! i understand the recessions depressin' i dont get the way kids today are dressin' hope the voting public have learned their lesson, EVEN AS I WRITE THIS I'M FUCKIN' STRESSIN! BARS!!!!!!!!!!

Throughout my 19-20 years here on the old planet Earth, i've passed my driving test, had my first legal drink and despised the generation below (Which is what all adults do i assume) but only now, on the road to 20, now that "Teen" is not in the title is the only time i've felt OLD. I REALLY, REALLY DON'T LIKE IT. Maybe i should go buy a muslim scarf, Mohawk my hair and buy some Vans so i feel like a punk kid again. Or maybe i could just go have a kid, get married, then divorced and get a cubicle job before i turn 30 and i truly DO get depressed.

Kick him and RUN!

The Metropolitan police today announced that they are going to re-introduce one-man police foot patrols. According to Sir Paul (the most senior Po-Po) "I want our public to feel that if there's uniform from the Met they are there because they want to engage them and make them feel safer." which makes a change from us seeing them and thinking "OH SHIT, he's gonna steal all my weed and knives!" (Which is all i think when i see 'em) I JOKE, I JOKE.... i never see police. For the past 20 years it has been rule one in the "How to be a paid snitch" manual that no single police officer should walk the beat without a buddy to hold there hand and provide a bit more florecity (if thats a word, it a comment aimed at there florescent jackets, ok on we go). But after 20 years with no rise in teenage murders, and a severe lack of terrorism aswell as a real drop in police getting the living shit kicked out of them by Scottish football fans, the Met have unanimously decided that the uniform alone is enough to shit any criminal right up the point that if it really DID come down to it they wouldn't punch the fat cocky, slightly racist fascist in the face and strut away as if a talky shoulder box and a hat doesn't scream AUTHORITY!!!

Growing up in Brixton i think i could probably count on my two, and maybe your two hands how many police i have seen in my entire life, (thats 20 max by the way DUH!) and if "Sir Paul" thinks halving that number will reduce the crime and increase the peace the fuck yeah bring it on! however i am pretty sure that in certain areas such as mine and other "Urban" areas of London the police may be a bit........how can i put this.....?.........OH..PUSSY! to stroll around on their Jacobs maintaining the peace with all the "Chavs" and "hoodies" running a muck, a muck i say!!!!. "I think our members will be a bit concerned about the safety aspect of it. Quite clearly they feel safer in pairs, particularly on night duty and in particular areas." I mean what kind of "piss poor morally" job are the police doing if the POLICE dont feel safe at night, I do! am i braver than the police, am i smarter than the police? do i know the ins and outs of "Urban city" life better than the police? yes yes i do but thats besides the point, i don't have a baton, or a taser that i can shock civilians in the brain with if they don't wake up on the bus and send 20,000 volts shooting through their skull (it happened trust me) so what does this tell us about the Federals? They're shook ones? They abuse their power? This news worthy decision that has taken thousands of pounds of our money aswell as a fuck load of time is completely irrelevant in regards to those parts of the city where there's actual crime a'gwarnin! All this is true, so whats new? NOT A GOD DAMN FUCKING THING!!!!! this is Benofficial reporting!

Possey OUT!!!

Arsenal Vs Hull Ft Benofficial TONIGHT!!!!

Tonight is going to be my first Emirates experience as i have managed to obtain tickets fot the Arsenal Vs Hull game tonight in the F.A Cup 5th round. I'm hoping to see some of the BIG DAWGS! like THEO THEO, or Willy Gallas, Nasri or new boy Andrei. OH BY THE WAY!!! this is not interesting it is mearly Excitement with a touch of Gloat and a sprinkle of Boast and a dash of FUCK YOU IM GOING TO THE ARSENAL GAME BOOOOOOYAH!!!!!

Insomniaxe-Beats and Rhymes since '99

HELL FUCKIN' YEAH!!! The boy Marvin (Formerly) has leaked some 2002 material prod. by the King Jimble. These classic tunes were released back when Marv was the Jester and i was a year 8 in school. Production quality is pretty awesome considering all those millions of years ago they were made.

It has been 6-7 years since i heard any of these fucking bangers but all it took was the first bar of the first track for it to come flooding back, i could, if i wasnt so lazy, type out every lyric as i hear it but me thinks you'll have ore fun learning it yourself.

Insomniaxe-Jester & Jack Nimble

Listen to my demo EP

Example video shoot photos

As you can clearly see, i gots a SEXYIFIED new Picture up. This was me at West London rapper and straight up cool as fuck guy Example's new video for his soon to be huge single "Kill the crowd". i attended this shindig along with my fellow crew-dem, Marvin (Formerly the Martian) Jack Nimble, Pixel and Tego, aswell as that bag of gangsters we were also joined by the likes of Big Narstie, Proffesor Green, Littles and Akira The Don (Currently of the Featured Artists coalition ) the video looks cool as hell and im sure its gonna be huge.

For more sexy pieces hit this jump and check 'em out as Artrocker Exclusive the shit out of it.

Don't worry more of sexy old me coming soon, can't put 'em all up at one time might constitute as porn.

I HOLLA!!!!!

God should've googled "Nazi"

This week the pope has come to the defense of a Bishop Richard Williamson, and no before you let your mind wonder its not for what you think it is (No kids were harmed in the blogging of this.....blog) No, Bishop Williamson is an experienced Catholic priest with decades of Mass under his collar, yet his crime is one of a global scale .Bishop Williamson is a "Holocaust denier" which is about the worst thing you can e, especially when your are an experience member of the clergy.

Bishop Williamson was quoted as saying "No-one died in the Gas Chambers" which is about as ignorant as it comes, i think the only way he could have sounded more idiotic is if he denied the existence of gravity or saying that Roma FC fans weren't a bunch of stupid Iti's with more history than sense, I MEAN IT'S JUST CRAZY.

Even more shocking i think is the nature in which "Ex Nazi youth" Pope Benedict xvi came to Williamson's defense claiming that the way the church had handled this nose dive would cause more problems than solutions. The Church elders have ordered Williamson to retract and unequivocally deny his statement (which he didn't) Pope Benedict sent a letter to the Worlds Roman Catholic Org claiming that any further involvement in this situation could devour the Catholic church from the inside. FIRST UP!!! having gone to a Roman Catholic school i happen to know that the Pope is literally Gods representative on Earth, so why is he writing letters, who has he gotta try and convince, if you are Catholic you listen to the Pope, i mean he is undeniably fucking wrong and stupid but hey that's Catholicism.

Willamson aswell as four other priests are members of a Splinter group of the Catholic Church (I KNOW FUCKIN AY!!!) founded by a French archbishop, Marcel Lefebvre, in 1970 as a protest against the Second Vatican Council's reforms on religious freedom and pluralism.WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???

The pope has released a statement stating (As statements do) that the Catholic Church must embrace the Internet as a source of information through out the world. "I have been told that consulting the information available on the Internet would have made it possible to perceive the problem early on," so what he's saying is Bishop Williamson prior to his outrageous claim should have just typed "Holocaust" or "Nazi" into google just so he got a nice Wyklipedia summary so as not to look stupid.

I like to think that the pope has released this statement in all seriousness and is getting wireless int he Vatican and just looking up Jesus or Heaven, getting invited to join Facebook and Twitter and pretty soon giving mass via a status update Amen.

"The discreet gesture of mercy towards four Bishops ordained validly but not legitimately suddenly appeared as something completely different: as the repudiation of reconciliation between Christians and Jews, and thus as the reversal of what the Council had laid down in this regard to guide the Church's path." HUH??????RACIST, I GUESS, I DON'T GET IT.

Post Bishop Williamson's craziness he was forced out of Argentina so he could spread his verbal aids here in the U.K, when the South Americans don't buy into your Catholic views you must be a fucking moron.

Benofficial OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Science is screwed

The Lib-Dem's have voted to allow State funded schools to accept pupils purely based on religion. I myself went to a Roman Catholic School in South West London, which although apparently having strict faith based pupil acceptance was about %25 Catholic, %25 Muslim and %50 other, i fell under the under demographic. All it took to get into my school was lies from the parents that we were "Considering" accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour (We never got around to it) but on top of this from year 7-9 we were taught "Religious Education" which i thought was a scary prospect, almost like brainwashing, telling a story and waiting for the unison response from the class that somehow God was right, Jesus was real, Noah WEREN'T a snitch and anybody who disagreed would be sent to the fire depths of a place of fire and brimstone. Of course due to the constant interruptions of either me or one of my equally enlightened non brainwashed confidants erupting in a rage of "BOLLOCKS, WHY DIDN'T GOD PUNISH THE EVIL DUCKS AND OR FISH WHEN HE FLOODED THE EARTH" the decision to now teach "Religious Studies" which is much easier to digest for us sinners. So we went from a 2-year separation of Religious views and or lack there of to a big united, super enlightened and understanding super Brain (Like GOD! im just saying) this on the whole (NO BULLSHIT) brought the Muslims, Catho's and others closer not only in their hunger for the truth but also gave us one Evil we could all agree on...FAITH SCHOOLS.

The concept of a school accepting a pupil merely based on whom he chooses as his saviour is straight up, not even borderline RACISM. It's saying "The resources of this school are only for those who believe what i believe" kinda like saying This Education is saved for the saved. I also found the whole concept kinda Nazi youthish, whose to say what the powers that be are teaching those already mentally fragile youth to believe (im not sayin religious is a sign of mental weakness, im saying kids are mentally weak, so PUT THE PHONE DOWN NOBODIES GOT TO CALL THE P.C POLICE) I know, i lived it for 5 whole hard confusing years, sat in Church at least 5 times a year eating the lords body and drinking his blood (i know as a non-Catholic i shouldn't but i was taught not to pass a meal up) aswell as responding to the Priests' rambles with the occasional "Lord be With you" "Amen" "Our lord ...etc etc etc" like some sort of mental programming, all in Uni-son, most of us not even aware of what we were saying "Lord be with you" It has really taken hindsight for me to see just how confusing and crazy a faith school can be for a young child. You're only really made aware once you progress to a further education non faith based and you come across those whom were raised in their respected faith's school and realising we were all taught to respond when the lord requires it, and what is flawed in opposing religions (OOOOH SENSITIVE SUBJECT) often this resulted in a war of the words, occasionally war of the fist, of course we all Know a war for "Democracy" and or "Oil"is Religion based at its basis.

I guess what this Rambling trip down memory lane is saying that in the world we live in today i thought we would be doing a lot more to ease religious conflict as opposed to further recruiting our soldiers for the great fight.

In Conclusion : (*AHEM AHEM* THERE IS NO GOD!!!!!!!!!) if that pisses you off you are a slave to a page on my blog site BOOOOOYAH!!!!!

P.S. Priests, they're a worrying bunch. FUCK FATHER TONY (NOT IN THE WAY HE WOULD WANT)

Super Furry Animals: Pete Flowers Exclusive Originl Drawing for Artrocker Magazine

This Months Artrocker Magazine (The best music magazine available) has surpassed even itself with this FUCKING SEXY cover featuring the Super Furry Animals as drawn by well renowned artist Pete Flowers. Aswell as the awsomeness of the cover which is reason enough to buy this sextastic publication, the content within features literary gold such as the follow up to the enthrawling story of how rough trade record stores came to be....so awesome. FUCK YEAH WOOP WOOP!

I mean seriously this image is so easy to appreciate, just sit back, strap a funky (new slang, copyright Benofficial) and enjoy ART. FUCK YEAH WOOP WOOP

On a related note, Artrocker.tv is gearing up to do one of their famous live sessions with the kick ass Art Brut. NOT TO BE MISSED